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17 October 2010 @ 12:46 am
{ drowning in blue } ; jongyu  
drowning in blue; jongkey/jongyu; angst/fluff; pg; wc: ~1,280
sohye_x3ctmh 
It hurts for Jonghyun to acknowledge that player Kibum wasn't the 'one' he was looking for after twenty years of his pathetic life (or so he thinks), and Jinki comes along as his best friend, and hints are taken into consideration, Jonghyun solves the puzzle and Kibum is forgotten forever.
requested by cloudyday2sb  @ twomin_utesoflove .
-----

 

 

It’d be advisable if you listened to this first.
-


I have (I have) you breathing down my neck (breathing down my neck)
I don't (don't know) what you could possibly expect under this condition

 

 

 

“K-Kibum?” Jonghyun stutters, it’s too wrong for him to see his lover in such a place, such a state, wearing such an expression indeed.

 

“What the hell— Jonghyun, why are you here?!”

“To see you ravishing a woman in my face, dear Key.”

 

 

He stomps out, a muddy trail on the club floor as Kibum stood, shocked but he knew this was coming.

 

Kibum was a playboy no less, he has women and men trying to get in his pants any day, and Jonghyun was just a plaything he could get used to if he tried hard enough.

 

So he chugs his tequila down, straightens his pants and flips his bangs to the side, then walks out without another glance back, because he knows, and everyone who stared hard at the dance floor to see the redhead rocking his place knows, he’d be back next Friday night, shaking like he was born to do it, and maybe frolic with someone else again; and nobody should be too shocked, anyway.

---

 

Slow down... This night's a perfect shade of dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you

 

“Yah Jonghyun, stop crying. It’s not a big deal anyway. You can get a new one next week.”

 

Jinki passed Jonghyun a box of new tissues, then muttered, “damn my tissue supply is seriously running low,” but pulls out a messy stack of tissues, stuffs it in Jonghyun’s chest and sighs.

 

“You—you don’t know, Jinki, you don’t...” He sniffs, “He treated me so well, like I did with him. I thought he loved me, Jinki, I did.”

“Who says I don’t know? I do, Jonghyun. But you thought he loved you. In a week.”

 

Jonghyun bawls into Jinki’s dark blue sweater, and then grabs another handful of tissue.

 

“I had someone, too.”

 

Jonghyun paused, then looks up to stare at Jinki, expecting him to continue.

 

“I thought he loved me, too. For three years, Jonghyun.”

“Wow. That must have hurt. How did you know he wasn’t into you?”

“He got himself a guy too.”

“And you still love him?”

“Of course, I still do. Like how you still love Kibum.”

 

Jonghyun cries again, and he feels tears on his scalp, but he didn’t ask why or what happened, because he thinks it’s because of his past love.

 

Jinki let his tears flow in front of Jonghyun, even he wasn’t looking, but it hurt.

It hurt because Jinki still loved the person who loves another;

It hurt because Jonghyun still loved the person who didn’t care.

 

It all links up, doesn’t it?

--

 

This flood (this flood) is slowly rising up, swallowing the ground beneath my feet

 

“So Jinki.” Jonghyun starts, and he starts to wonder why he got used to calling Jinki without the formalities.

 

“Yeah? I can’t hear you right now. Shower. Hold on a sec.”

 

Jonghyun hears the tap being turned off, an irritated ‘aish’ as something dropped, and the muffled sounds of Jinki humming in the toilet, and the door opened, hot steam shooting on Jonghyun’s face.

 

“Whoa.” Jonghyun says, quite involuntarily, waving off the hot air in his face.

“What did you want, Jonghyun? I was in the middle of a war with my rubber ducky.”

“How long have we known each other?”

“You mean since we met at school or since we cohabited?”

“Both.”

“Three years? Something like that. Why?”

“So the guy you love is a guy that you got to know three years ago.”

 

Jinki nods. He couldn’t see where this conversation was leading to.

Jonghyun taps his chin with a pen, then beams considerably.

 

“I’ll get to the bottom of it hyung~”

 

Jinki shakes his head, rolling his eyes at Jonghyun for the use of ‘hyung’ after two years, then retreats to the washroom, and drops his towel in shock as he got what Jonghyun really meant by that.

 

“Oh shit. Are heartbroken people always this sharp and curious?!”

--

 

 

I'll swim (I'll swim) as the water rises up, the sun is sinking down
And now all I can see are the planets in a row, suggesting it's best that I slow down

 

“Jinki~”

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who was that.

 

“Want to go for dinner together? I’m free and I know you’re free. So you can’t reject.”

“Jonghyun, are you talking to yourself? I didn’t even speak.”

“Where shall we go, hmm? Japanese? Italian? French? Hey hyung, where?”

“Anywhere you’d like.”

 

So they drive off (in Jonghyun’s car, and Jinki wonders how this kid could get himself a car, then he grips his heart in pain, those memories of studying late at night, Jonghyun chanting road signs and car parts were too heavy for Jinki to carry) to a restaurant Jinki doesn’t really know, and Jonghyun does all the speaking and all Jinki has to do is to think and to eat, then occasionally stare at his dark blue jeans instead of the scenery outside.

 

“Hey hyung, I think I know who you love.”

“Shut up and eat your steak, Jonghyun.”

“No wait, I really do.”

“Who did you ask? Taemin? Or his famous boyfriend Minho? They wouldn’t know.”

“Nope, I figured it out by myself. I think.”

“Well I don’t want to hear it right now. Just eat, Jonghyun.”

“Mmm fine. I think you’d know someday.”

 

Jinki hoped his heartbeat isn’t loud enough for Jonghyun to hear.

--

 

If you've ever been alone in the dark blue

If you've ever been alone you'll know

 

Jonghyun yells, sits up on his bed, shaking, tearing and sweating from a bad dream.

Jinki rolls over his own bed, scratching his head.

 

“Bad dreams?”

Jonghyun nods. “Not good. I keep dreaming about Kibum.”

Jinki wonders if Jonghyun could hear his heart break. Again.

 

“It’s normal to dream about love, Jonghyun.”

“Hyung, do you dream about the one you love?”

“Maybe? Why are you so curious, Jonghyun? Aish.”

“Hyung, don’t look at your clothes too much. When you do, it’s because you’re thinking. Right? And you’re thinking too much, hyung.”

 

Jinki looks down, and looks at Jonghyun.

This guy knows too much.

 

“Hey hyung. Want to hear the results of my investigation?”

“Of what?”

“Your love.”

“I’m not really interested. But if it distracts you from Kibum, spit it.”

“Me.” Jonghyun blurts, Jinki sees faint red on his face in the dark, and he smiles.

“What, you, Jonghyun?”

 

“Don’t hide it Jinki, I’ve known you for three years. I know you too well. You don’t go out for dinner or anything with just anybody. I loved someone else. Hints are there right? So I solved it. Dinner is yours to treat tomorrow. Or lunch. Anything.”

 

“Wait, you loved someone else?”

“Yeah, I quit loving someone else, it’s so tiring.”

 

Jinki laughs; it’s almost like a needle stuck in his heart for years, it’s small yet it hurts a lot; it’s like clot in the brain, a little and it gets all corrupted and complicated; it’s like dust in the eyes, it’s barely visible but it’s hard to rid of.

 

“And then?”

“And I decided I’ll love you hyung. I think it’s easier. For me, for you.”

 

Jinki doesn’t say anything and settles himself on the bed, cuddling on the blankets.

 

“Hyung, don’t be shy~”

 

Jonghyun only closed his eyes when a huge cushion hit him flat on his butt, followed by murmured profanities and he laughs.

 

It’s definitely easier.

 ---



i'll be working on the next request asap .
:)

 
 
 
♕: pic#104519132sohye_x3ctmh on October 17th, 2010 08:01 am (UTC)
i know one :P
ch0pstixx .

/waves from under the rock

i'm everywhere bb

oh can i add you?
w.e.f.l.o.a.t.a.b.o.v.ecloudyday2sb on October 17th, 2010 08:06 am (UTC)
sure, i'll add you back lol. but i don't really use my journal much. only for its f-list heehees

YES I KNOW. i see you everywhere too^^ you just write so many beautiful fics. damn how can you write so much i think i'll die
♕: sohye-heechulsohye_x3ctmh on October 17th, 2010 09:18 am (UTC)
yeah i wrote alot in the past . i think i'm slowing down now T___T
w.e.f.l.o.a.t.a.b.o.v.e: TEUKIE<33333333333333cloudyday2sb on October 18th, 2010 10:31 am (UTC)
NOOO!!!T^T awww take it easy yos~~~